Thursday, March 8, 2007

laughter is the best medicine!

I decided to clean out my hotmail email account this morning... turns out I had 141 some odd messages 100 if which are complete junk that somehow slipped through the spam filter, the other 41 where forwards from family and friends! Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that very few people ever type their own emails anymore?? Ever title in the subject line includes at least one FWD...Most them I are hilarious and I'm glad someone took the time to think of me and pass it on! Here's one my dad sent on I thought Id share it because it made me smile! After the week I've had I needed to smile!
I hope no one finds any offence to it!!
Author unknown...
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? and Man said "Yes!" And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips". And so they gained 10 pounds.And God created the healthy yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14. So God said "Try my fresh green salad". And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them". And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, And super size 'em". And Satan said "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.God sighed .......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then .............Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Sometimes with laughter comes tears! As I continued to clean out my email box I came to one entitled Gold Wrapper ...Isn't it funny how things we read can speak so clearly to you! It said to email it to all my friends your familiar with the wonderful world of horrible chain mail! The only reason I even bother reading them is because the life's lessons I learn from them are very worth reading 98.8% of the time!

"Gold Wrapping Paper" I received this from a friend who had a choice to make. It said that I had a choice to make too. I've chosen. Now it's your turn to choose. The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and then said, "This is for you, Momma." The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?" She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Momma, it's not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full." The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger. An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and GOD. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold. You now have two choices: 1. Pass this on to your friends and family on your mailing list. 2. Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice No. 1.
I think UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is the greatest gift we can give our children or anyone for that matter! Its great because it fits comfortably into EVERYONES price range! Even the poorest or poor can give!
Its not something that can be bought and wrapped in fancy paper:) Instead it is learned when it is shared!!
I wanted to share this with more than just the people on my mailing list ( I don't have a long list) I put it here that way I can share with all of you!
Yesterdays latest edition to my series of unfortunate events has left me an emotional wreck today, I'm super moody, the dark clouds looming in the sky when I woke up made me wanna crawl back into bed! I was counting on SUN!! 6:30am was not what time I had hoped to get woken up by my little princess! It hurt just to open my eyes! I don't remember what time I finally made it to bed last night but I do remember passing out on the couch while in the middle of an online poker game @ 1:30 or so! Thank god my hubby was up keeping an eye on my game ...he took over and let me sleep! I wonder how we did?:) One thing yesterday taught me and that is never to take the simple things in life for granted!!
Life's to short to put conditions on love!!

1 comment:

Derica said...

Good for people to know.